Cleon's Emporium
Tales from Cyrodiil episode 3. It takes place some weeks after the events of episodes 1 and 2. Synopsis Zelos is sitting around the game room of Ancient Towers, quite bored out of his mind. He makes small talk with Cleon for a few minutes. Cleon mentions that he wants to film a commercial and needs a cameraman. Despite Zelos' protests that televisions don't even exist yet, Cleon insists that the commercial is important. Zelos declines and leaves the room, still disbelieving Cleon's idiotic idea. However, he is soon confronted by Captain Blue, who eagerly asks if he wants to try out his catapult. The two stare at each other for a long time before Zelos finally retreats back to Cleon and agrees to do the commercial. After the intro sequence, we find Cleon and Zelos have moved into the bathroom to discuss the commercial. Cleon reveals that it is to advertise the grand opening of his new Illegal Weapon Emporium and Casino. Zelos cannot believe what he is hearing and demands that he not run this thing from their home, as well as protests that the Imperial Guard would put a stop to it immediately; however, Cleon's plans are already well underway, with Red Sonia already signed up to be his bartender. Zelos doubts she was in a very clear state of mind when she agreed to this, and Cleon does nothing to deny it. Zelos tries to back out from the commercial again, but as soon as he leaves, he is accosted by Captain Blue again. Caught between these two idiots, he laments Shivan's absence that day, as she has gone out shopping. As Zelos and Cleon begin filming their commercial, Captain Blue comes across the two of them and demands to be given a spot on the commercial, citing that as a great warrior he has the right to some screentime. Cleon begrudgingly agrees, more to shut him up than for any real reason. Zelos distracts himself from the argument by filming the dwarven spider that is crawling around the game room. With the commercial rewritten to include Captain Blue, the filming begins. Cleon starts off welcoming viewers and presenting a picture of donuts for the benefit of the Imperial Guard, serving as a distraction so they will not see or hear any more of the commercial. He proceeds to tell of all the wonders of the Emporium, featuring all the illegal weapons anyone could ever want, the open bar and minibars, and the casino. Captain Blue appears to give the Emporium his endorsement, as Cleon has the best catapults in all Cyrodiil, as well as fantastic ammunition such as Exploding Watermelons. Cleon ends the commercial by stating that the Emporium can be found just east of the Imperial Prison. As soon as the filming is complete, Zelos informs the two that they are both idiots and that he is headed for Frostcrag. Trivia This particular episode was inspired by TeamUDF's early teenaged years, when he and Jay were messing around with some live-action role-playing. The actual commercial is almost verbatim a commercial Team made featuring "Mobster Kurt Angle's Illegal Weapon Emporium" opened across the street from the police station. Category:Tales Summaries